Saturday, September 09, 2006

Dungeons and other Commercial Centers


So i was battling this dragon, right? (as you do, this is China, and man, he was fierce. I mean, this wasn't your run of the mill fire breathing komodo lizard, but some serious, straight off the hoard of gold up under the mountain, only one scale missing, fire breathing, fair maiden ravishing, Dungeon master's mind melting beast. Kinda like dude to the left here, but minus the water and the mouth tentacles.
I mean, i dont know that much about dragons, definitly not as much as these folks: http://www.draconian.com/body/body.htm

But i do know that when fair maiden's get threatened by 'em, itenerant Kung Fu students better step up and take care of bidness. So when i stumbled upon this dragon doing dragon ish and harrassing the fine women folk of DungFeng, my split second kung fu skill srung straight into action, and i busted him upside the head with a few of those secrets you only learn from Kung Fu masters. He got a couple of licks in, i mean, its a dragon we're talking about here, but in the end i put him down with some old school Ralph Macchio spinning drum action and jump kick or two. He had been holding one of these fair ladies in his scaly grip, and, unfortunately, had ripped the seam of her Gucci gown, which was a little too reavealing for modesty. Me being the right southern gentleman that i am, offered immediately to get her fixed up with the nearest tailor. Since i don't speak Chinese so well yet though, i had her direct me, "where does one acquire the appropriate clothing for one of your stature?" i asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "take me to the mall."

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